Something every women & their guys should read lol

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Something every women & their guys should read lol

Postby Citrine » Sat Aug 04, 2007 10:15 pm

Pregnancy, Estrogen and Women

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

"ESTROGEN ISSUES"
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"


1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".

6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".

9 You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday..

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

10. Cats' facial expressions.

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.

8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.

7. Fat clothes.

6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.

5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.

4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.

3. Eyelash curlers.

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN

Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day ..
WE ALL NEED a SMILE!
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Re: Something every women & their guys should read lol

Postby BelieveinUnicorns » Sun Aug 05, 2007 10:45 pm

Citrine wrote:Pregnancy, Estrogen and Women

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.


That soon?????????????????

Citrine wrote:["ESTROGEN ISSUES"
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"


1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

9 You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.


Well those are all true! But I like to keep the cheese and eggs out and prefer chocolate chip pancakes or waffles!

Citrine wrote:[TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

10. Cats' facial expressions.

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.


Well these are true too!
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In prayer you communicate with God, in meditation God communicates with you.


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RE: Re: Something every women & their guys should read l

Postby Norma » Sun Aug 05, 2007 11:40 pm

HAHA HA HA HA HAHAHA HA ..... OKAY.... STILLLLLLL LAUGHING... WHAT DID i WANT TO SAY NOW.... ??????? HUMMMM HA HA HA HAHA
"'Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.' ~Unknown "
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RE: Re: Something every women & their guys should read l

Postby Little White Dove » Sun Aug 05, 2007 11:57 pm

Great :2: thanks for a good laugh :lol: I needed it! :1:

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May you always have the courage To spread your wings and fly!
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RE: Re: Something every women & their guys should read l

Postby MisterJ » Wed Aug 08, 2007 6:01 am

5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.

....isnt here an acran as well

Wicked read Citrine ......thanks for sharing
In the midsts of our souls do our minds evolve
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RE: Re: Something every women & their guys should read l

Postby Fantasia » Thu Aug 09, 2007 5:36 am

LOL ...ripper ::

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
I don't believe in charity. I believe in solidarity. Charity is so vertical. It goes from the top to the bottom. Solidarity is horizontal. It respects the
other person and learns from the other. I have a lot to learn from other people.

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