ZEN SARCASM

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ZEN SARCASM

Postby BelieveinUnicorns » Fri Nov 17, 2006 6:57 pm

ZEN SARCASM

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either.
Just pretty much leave me the he ll alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins
with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn.
So if you're going to steal your neighbors' newspaper,
that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable.
If you can't be replaced,
you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique.
Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive,
try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.

10 Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'.
It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women.
Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances,
take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
The wiser the soul .... the greater the simplicity.

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons for you are crunchy and good with salsa.

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.

Communication
In prayer you communicate with God, in meditation God communicates with you.


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RE: ZEN SARCASM

Postby Little White Dove » Mon Nov 20, 2006 5:59 am

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'.
It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.


Oh so very true!

22. Never, under any circumstances,
take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.


Great advice

Just LoVe them Uni 8) :2:

May your day be filled with blessings Like the sun that lights the sky,
May you always have the courage To spread your wings and fly!
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RE: ZEN SARCASM

Postby Jessica40 » Mon Nov 20, 2006 9:05 pm

hahhaaaaaaahhhhhaaaaaaa oh my gosh, I am in tears, I am passing this one on. Thanks Uni, laughter is sooooo good for the soul.
"Prayer is when you talk to God,
Meditation is when you Listen."
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RE: ZEN SARCASM

Postby dale » Tue Nov 21, 2006 6:41 am

Thanks Uni

Good way to start the day with a laugh and a smile
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RE: ZEN SARCASM

Postby Crystal Dragon » Thu Nov 23, 2006 12:01 am

LMAO thats is great!!
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RE: ZEN SARCASM

Postby caraway » Fri Nov 24, 2006 8:52 am

ROFL, Just what I needed, Uni. Thanks. Caraway
Dare to live your creed )O(
Angels fly because they take themselves lightly :lil:
For a fleeing enemy, build a golden bridge.
If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got.
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Postby Angeldust » Sun Dec 17, 2006 4:38 pm

Love those quotes some are real heart tuggers. Makes you see the truth in yourself with a little humour. Must pass these on. Thanx. :3:
Blessings. ADE.xxx

If the world keeps on serving you lemons, then make lemonade
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Postby BelieveinUnicorns » Sun Dec 17, 2006 10:00 pm

Your all welcome
The wiser the soul .... the greater the simplicity.

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons for you are crunchy and good with salsa.

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.

Communication
In prayer you communicate with God, in meditation God communicates with you.


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Postby Fantasia » Tue Jul 31, 2007 5:53 am

22. Never, under any circumstances,
take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.


HAHAHA - sleep walking with a twist :o
I don't believe in charity. I believe in solidarity. Charity is so vertical. It goes from the top to the bottom. Solidarity is horizontal. It respects the
other person and learns from the other. I have a lot to learn from other people.

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