Oxymorons

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Oxymorons

Postby Citrine » Fri Jan 20, 2006 11:50 pm

Oxymorons....

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. When they wrote the first dictionary, where did they find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already
there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why isn't "phonics" spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead
tree and eat candy out of your socks?
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RE: Oxymorons

Postby Fantasia » Sat Jan 21, 2006 1:06 am

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
:2: :2: oh I love this, absolutely love it, I'm going to give this a run (with a poker face) to some of the guys that work on the 'tugs' LOL
I don't believe in charity. I believe in solidarity. Charity is so vertical. It goes from the top to the bottom. Solidarity is horizontal. It respects the
other person and learns from the other. I have a lot to learn from other people.

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RE: Oxymorons

Postby Little White Dove » Mon Jan 23, 2006 12:40 am

:jump:
27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
:1:

May your day be filled with blessings Like the sun that lights the sky,
May you always have the courage To spread your wings and fly!
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RE: Oxymorons

Postby SpiritWalker » Tue Jan 24, 2006 9:13 pm

all good :5:
Best Vibes to you
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Postby shazza » Fri Jan 27, 2006 2:59 am

If you ever feel stupid, then just read on. If you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius! This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. Pursue at your leisure, English lovers. Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8 ) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18 ) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France (Surprise!).
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat...
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea or is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
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Postby Fantasia » Wed Aug 01, 2007 7:54 am

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

<blushing> :oops:
I don't believe in charity. I believe in solidarity. Charity is so vertical. It goes from the top to the bottom. Solidarity is horizontal. It respects the
other person and learns from the other. I have a lot to learn from other people.

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Postby BelieveinUnicorns » Wed Aug 01, 2007 10:39 am

For the same reason why you yell at people who don't speak the same language!
The wiser the soul .... the greater the simplicity.

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons for you are crunchy and good with salsa.

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.

Communication
In prayer you communicate with God, in meditation God communicates with you.


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Postby Norma » Wed Aug 01, 2007 12:41 pm

funnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...
"'Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.' ~Unknown "
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Leave the rest to God.
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Postby Fantasia » Wed Aug 01, 2007 7:09 pm

and why do we talk louder to people older than ourselves.....?

and why do we talk all goo goo ga ga at babies...?
I don't believe in charity. I believe in solidarity. Charity is so vertical. It goes from the top to the bottom. Solidarity is horizontal. It respects the
other person and learns from the other. I have a lot to learn from other people.

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Postby BelieveinUnicorns » Wed Aug 01, 2007 7:27 pm

Its a respect think for people who are older then us as we figure if I can't hear then they must not bealbe to either (doen't matter how many rock concerts you attended)

As for babies well its like saying Nannnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaa to them cause we are better we can do so much more stuff .... but really wish we only had the worries of a baby
The wiser the soul .... the greater the simplicity.

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons for you are crunchy and good with salsa.

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.

Communication
In prayer you communicate with God, in meditation God communicates with you.


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Postby Fantasia » Fri Sep 21, 2007 9:47 pm

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.


just goes to show we will eat anything lolol
I don't believe in charity. I believe in solidarity. Charity is so vertical. It goes from the top to the bottom. Solidarity is horizontal. It respects the
other person and learns from the other. I have a lot to learn from other people.

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Postby BelieveinUnicorns » Fri Sep 21, 2007 9:56 pm

Makes you wonder who thought of those strange names ..... or to squeeze those things under a cow and then drink it!
The wiser the soul .... the greater the simplicity.

Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons for you are crunchy and good with salsa.

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.

Communication
In prayer you communicate with God, in meditation God communicates with you.


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Postby Fantasia » Fri Sep 21, 2007 9:57 pm

could be worse :o
I don't believe in charity. I believe in solidarity. Charity is so vertical. It goes from the top to the bottom. Solidarity is horizontal. It respects the
other person and learns from the other. I have a lot to learn from other people.

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Postby Taliesin » Wed Apr 02, 2008 3:16 pm

Fantasia wrote:could be worse :o


Or better... :wink:
Patience is the art of timing
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Postby Fantasia » Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:59 pm

hahaha
I don't believe in charity. I believe in solidarity. Charity is so vertical. It goes from the top to the bottom. Solidarity is horizontal. It respects the
other person and learns from the other. I have a lot to learn from other people.

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